Leadership and the Despicable Art of Being Secretly Serviced

As a speaker who blends motivation and humor it is rare for me to begin a blog, or a Monday morning, like this, but I’m going to say it anyway.

I am royally pissed off right now.

I am disgusted, once again, by the confirmed news reports regarding the behavior that our government employees and military personnel, representing AMERICA (that’s us, folks) are involved in.

According to leadership expert John C. Maxwell (whom I admire greatly): “Leadership starts right where you are, from the inside out. Leadership isn’t a position, it’s a process.”

Judging by the frat-party antics of this small group of secret service team members, some of them should have been missionaries. To twist a phrase, they SHOULD have put the Cartegena before the whores. 

In a time when the American public is struggling, when we need our government to help us more than ever  before (in my 44 years, anyway), why is there still a percentage of our government employees who cannot understand that THEY are ALL leaders?! Here is a test to see if you are a leader: is there ANYONE on this planet who could be directly affected by the words you say, or the actions you take?

If you answer yes to that question: CONGRATULATIONS, you are a leader!

If you answered no, then you may be, as my high school teacher Mr. Ahern used to say: “Paralyzed from the ass up.”

While I am not always happy with their dirt-scrounging methods, I must admit I am relieved to see the paparazzi-media bringing so many scandals to light each week to rock the news reports.

The days of sweeping everything under the rug with regard to our government’s indiscretions are waning, and for that I am relieved. That rug is getting too big to lift, and the sweepers are on steroids.

But there will be many more, I am sure, as long as certain people in leadership feel their Teflon power-positions allow them to skate under the radar and do whatever they please.

Now, please do not think I wish for everyone to have their birth certificate stamped by a Notary Public in Bethlehem.

We are human. We have faults. I do. You do. We ALL do.

However, the INTENTIONAL DECISION to commit such acts of wrongdoing, which
continually embarrass us (can you hear the laughter from around the world, America?) and weaken the confidence in our leadership (local, state AND national) sickens me.

I own two small businesses. I have, and continue to, struggle to stay afloat. My family members have been life-savers over the years. I pay extreme prices for gas (as I drive close to 32,000 miles per year). I work extra-hard to walk my talk and not do or say things which erode my message. I have a responsibility to do so.

My mission is to help others, to inspire others, to make others aware of what we ALL can do to make our communities better, to make our companies stronger and to make our world a better place to live.

There are many people out there who do the same, day in and day out.

And every time a small cluster of morons (in this case, a handful of secret service and military personnel) does something like this, it makes it even more difficult for the rest of us, because the glare of the media coverage relegates us to the shadows.

I do wish to recognize one bright spot in leadership from last week, however.

Newark, New Jersey mayor Cory Booker rescued a neighbor from her burning home. He did a good thing, and the media splashed it across the news. Am I canonizing Cory Booker? No. He is a human being, with all his own faults and frailties, as are ALL of our leaders, including you and me.

What he did, though, was make a decision to do the right thing in a critical situation.

That is what leaders do.

How can YOU be a leader this week?

Some Days Inspiration Hits You ‘Like A Storm’

Last week I attended one of the greatest concerts, ever.

The music rocked, the crowd loved the show, the food was amazing…and there were no long lines for the bathrooms!

On Monday evening, a dozen fans were invited to my friend Brad’s apartment for a special evening of music with musicians he’d met at a concert last year. The band ‘Like A Storm’ is a trio of brothers from New Zealand (Matt, Kent and Chris Brooks). They reside in Vancouver, British Columbia, and are currently on a tour of American living rooms.

Yes, you read that correctly.

These brothers, who have enjoyed huge applause as an opening act for such major artists as Creed, Alter Bridge, Shinedown, Staind and more…were now playing, unplugged, in my friend’s house. And maybe yours?

No nosebleed seats here.

I claimed front row on the couch (the most comfortable concert my butt has ever enjoyed).

What we received (in addition to some KILLER food from Brad the chef) was an evening I’ll never forget.

We were treated to a one-night-only experience or pure authenticity and passion!

As much I love (as a professional speaker) to take every stage and share myself straight from the heart , these three took that joy to another level.

During their mid-twenties, they left home to bring their music to a great big unknown world.

If they had mission-stopping fears of failure, they were left on a luggage carousel in a New Zealand airport.

Between songs, they made us laugh with tales from the road, memories from home and stories of their family. Their grandmother LOVED seeing living out their dream so much, she’d stand at the front of the stage with her camera as other bands asked: “Who is that old lady?!?”

When she passed away, the brothers found themselves unable to return home for the funeral. In appreciation for her love and support, they put pen to paper (and hearts to guitars) and created the song ‘Galaxy’ in her honor.

The song blew me away. They shared that it was the easiest song they ever wrote. I can understand.

I had ‘that’ grandparent who believed in me. I also had a close friend who believed.

Both are now gone, too soon to see the success I wished to create.

And it is up to me to continue sharing my message anywhere I can, on any stage, because they inspired me to do so.

Another highlight from the evening was a cover of CCR’s nugget “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?”

As the boys sang and played, they invited us to share the chorus several times over.

Was every voice perfect? Nope, except for Matt, Kent and Chris.

Did we have fun and create a ‘moment’ that I will remember forever? YES!

Who is singing in YOUR living room these days?

Who comes into your life sharing their message in such a way that you realize you may not be sharing yours as powerfully as you can?

Are you listening…and singing along?

Grab yourself a comfy seat, because YOUR show is about to begin, in a whole new way.

You already have a rotating roster of artists sharing your stage with you.

Some will inspire your heart to soar with happiness. Others may cause you to sing the blues.

But ALL are here for a limited time, so please enjoy the show!

Here is a message from their song ‘Galaxy’:

“Whenever the rain is pouring on me, You’ll be shining in my memory. Wherever I go, you’re always with me You’ll be shining in my galaxy.”

Some days, when you least expect it…inspiration can hit you, Like A Storm.

Shine on Matt, Kent and Chris!  www.LikeAStorm.com

Thank you to Nicole Riel for the great photos!

Tectonic Shock Absorbers, Please…’Cuz the Earth is Rockin’!

If I learned anything from 8^th grade science class, it is this: the Earth’s surface is unstable at best, consisting of a series of tectonic plates which are constantly shifting.

When they get a little too friendly with each other, we get earthquakes.

In a time reeking of bad news in the news, I’ve been digging ever deeper to find reasons to celebrate the human spirit and all its wonder. Social media has been essential tool in my quest to discover my brothers and sisters in positivity throughout the world.

Several days ago, one of them showed up. There is a gentleman named Rich Proctor who dwells on West Coast USA. I am comfortably ensconced here in New England. One positive quote on Facebook led to a like, a comment…and then a volley of increasingly positive, supportive messages.

After daily deluges of negativity in the headlines, it was a welcome bright light in my day. In one of our final messages of the conversation, I commented that if we kept up the foot-stomping on our respective coasts, the country would split in half somewhere around Des Moines!

You see, WE are just like the tectonic plates. When we find other plates out there like ourselves, and our energy slams together, we create earth-shaking (and LIFE-shaking) moments which can change a day in an instant. And the best part, the aftershocks can keep us rockin’ forever! 

From Rich Proctor: It’s so true, we are like little tectonic plates. And we go around, and for better or for worse, affect all of the other little tectonic plates around us. I just want to make sure the aftershocks I cause are good ones and that I am aligning myself with like-minded plates. Because let’s face it, two like-minded plates working together create twice the havoc that one all by itself does. And I’m proud to be aligned with one such as you. Let’s keep it rockin’!

Are you stuck out in the middle of nowhere these days?  Seemingly alone, nobody else with whom to collide positively?

Would YOU be willing to stomp your feet and making joyful noise, seeking out positive people just like yourself to set up a chain reaction?

There is power in the plates.

It’s a Tectonic Takedown of the world’s negativity…shake it up!!

Do YOUR Spokes Make the Wheel Wobble?

While taking a break from power-washing the green slime off our back patio (much better than burgers with pink slime, right?), my Dad and I were having a great conversation about people and their work ethics.

According to dictionary.reference.com, it is defined as: a belief in the moral benefit and importance of work and its inherent ability to strengthen character.

He was brought up, in my eyes, a blue-collar superstar. Dad was taught to place great value on working hard and providing adequate effort, at the very minimum, for the compensation one receives. Taking pride in one’s work is KING in his world. In addition, doing one’s best to create a safe and positive environment for co-workers is also a key ingredient.

He works as a carpenter, so this last part means: clean up after yourself, make the work area safe for the next guy, never skimp on quality, don’t cut corners saying ‘close enough’, etc.

You don’t have to look over your shoulder when you operate from a rock-solid work ethic, in our book.

I remember, back in my radio days, asking a less-than-inspired team member if he could just ‘act like he gave a crap’ and give me the effort we were paying him for. He’d managed to amass a record-setting 3-month streak falling short of expectations by leaving early each day and not doing adequate prep work for his airshift.

Lucky for me, this person couldn’t even spell HR, so I didn’t get nailed for my comment.

We are all part of a wheel.

Some people get to be hubs (leaders, management), and the rest of us are spokes. This applies for so many  parts of our world. Every country’s government is a hub and all representatives and citizens are spokes. It also applies to families and local communities.

The effort put forth by every person determines how smoothly the wheel rolls.

I like to think of the lazy, unethical, immoral, detached and otherwise disengaged people as crooked spokes. They are there, still attached, but their sole purpose seems to be to cause the wheel to wobble, shaking the entire structure as it tries to roll.

Have you ever driven a car, or ridden a bike, which is in bad need of a wheel alignment?

Are some of the spokes in YOUR wheel causing your life, family or company to wobble a bit these days?

They can be replaced, you know.

I’ve discovered that a missing spoke can cause far less damage than a crooked one.

All the other spokes can be adjusted to pick up the slack, keeping the wheel rolling smoothly.

Sometimes it is the HUB which causes the wobbling. In cases such as this, a spoke can choose to leave that wheel and find a better one (leave a marriage, change jobs, move to a different community, etc.).

Do YOU need to replace one or two spokes from YOUR life, or start with a brand new hub?

Please give some thought to how YOUR wheel is rolling this week.

Wishing you smooth roads and a happy alignment!

Capturing Magic Moments Forever!

Two weeks ago, I did something I felt I had not done in years: I actually took a week to ‘kick back’ and relax. Other than a couple hours here and there, the last 7 days were spent sleeping late, spending time in the fresh air and being with my sweet, beautiful Tina.

I had to laugh a few times when I saw the clock in the morning as it displayed: 5:00…5:01…5:02. Without reluctance, my eyes voluntarily closed as I smiled (without entrepreneurial guilt, this time) for a few more hours each day.

The week was split evenly between Burlington VT and Dunbarton NH. We went out, we spent time with friends whom we hadn’t seen in months, and we enjoyed some deeee-licious food!

As much as my life is devoted to creating positive messages and following one’s passions (while enjoying life in the process), I must admit that I do not spend enough time allowing my own batteries to recharge.

It is a fact that I have allowed many ‘small’ things to distract me recently. The intricacies of my new website have bogged me down. A new e-book by my canine partner Super Teddy Maximus (www.SuperTeddyMax.com) has required a lot of my time. Several upcoming events have absorbed a great deal of my focus as well.

Last week, with all its relaxing, taught me a valuable lesson. Even though this new week means a back-to-the-grind return to busy-ness, I take with me the memories (and lessons) of my downtime.

This photo was taken at the docks on Lake Champlain in Burlington VT. It is one of my favorite places on earth to visit. As an exceptionally-warm late-winter day drew to a close, and clouds began to drift in, I managed to find a second-floor balcony to catch this reflection of the sun.

Even now, as I am preparing for a verrrrry busy week, this photo reminds me to ‘take a pause for the cause’, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and smile a great big smile.

These tiny breaks make a HUGE difference for me.

What keeps YOU going? We are all busy people. Times are tough for many right now.

Amid all the chaos of work, meetings, phone calls, etc., what magic moments make YOU smile?

Are there photos you’ve taken? Or memories that you’ve tattooed on your heart and in your mind?

If not, perhaps THIS is the week that you capture one, keeping it with you for the busy weeks on the hamster wheel?

Please remember that magic moments can happen at any time.

Take a moment, and capture them forever!

The Devil Told Me to Hit Her With the Trophy!

“The Devil Told Me to Hit Her With the Trophy!”

Several years ago, I was very fortunate to reach the District 45 finals of the Toastmasters Humorously Speaking competition. My speech was a remembrance piece of our beloved dog Clyde.

From the somber summer of my divorce in 2003 through the following 2 years of rebuilding my life and launching my speaking career, Clyde was a constant companion in my recording studio. He wagged his nub of a tail, he napped often, and he gave me a smile on days when I needed one the most.

He was also the only dog I ever met who snored out both ends when he slept.

Yes, Clyde had a bit of a gas problem.

Through each of the four rounds of competition, I ran the range of emotions from out-loud laughter to near-tears upon re-telling Clyde’s passing, back to laughter with the details of his ‘exclusive’ pet cremation (a bit of a scam, in my opinion).

After round 3, as the victory applause faded, I was approached by a woman I’d never met. She held a prominent local leadership position in the organization. As several congratulatory people drifted off, she leaned it to let her voice be heard.

“You know, you’re going to have to learn the difference between an adjective and an adverb if you want to advance at this.”

If my face didn’t betray my feelings over that statement, I deserve an Oscar.

Somewhere in the stunned silence, I realized that it is true that we can simultaneously have an angel perched on one shoulder while a devil dances on the other. 

“Just accept the comment and walk away” advised the angel.

Not to be ignored, the devil leaned into my ear and laughingly exclaimed: “Hit her with the trophy!”

Ultimately, I thanked her for her suggestion and excused myself. While I am sure this person felt she was ‘helping’ in some way, her approach left much to be desired, for me.

Had she asked: “May I make a suggestion?”, I may have been more willing to tolerate her.

As she did not, and launched into her oafish commentary, I basically didn’t give a rat’s behind what she had to say.

Has this happened to you? Have your efforts been met my instant critical backlash, with little tact?

I realize that I am not God’s gift to the speaking world, and I understand that I always have something to learn.

We ALL do, in our respective fields.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Aretha Franklin demanded it, and I think we all deserve it.

I may not always know the difference between and adjective and an adverb (I always thought you just added an ‘LY’, guess not), but I do understand how to treat others.

Let’s all make an effort to approach the world tactfully, respectfully and generously* this week, shall we?

*these are all adverbs, by the way. I looked them up.

Letting Your Fingers Do The Talkin’!

Lettin’ Your Fingers Do the Talkin’!

You know the old saying about the cobbler’s kids having no shoes, right?

In my world this week, it transformed into the professional speaker who had no voice.

When you can barely string together a few decent phrases before cracking or falling into gravelly 5-pack-a-day death-rattle, it stinks.

It was all I could do to creak out my outgoing voicemail each day (something I’ve been recording daily for 8+ years).

So what does one do when the most prominent tool in the box gets lost?

One can sit idly by and wait, or one can jump face-first into a hot-water-with-lemon-and-honey wate rfall and coax the talent back.  As if the Incredible Hulk didn’t  already get a mega-dose of gamma radiation to make him that way, my Marvel Comics mug took many spins in the microwave over the last few days.

Something else also struck me. I can get a heck of a lot more work done when I am not on the phone every 10 minutes! More writing, brainstorming, creating, cleaning and organizing got done this week than if  I’d  been in full voice.

How did it all happen?

Last weekend’s scratchy throat became Monday morning’s cough. Monday night’s speaking engagement took its toll and Tuesday evening’s brief presentation at a Friends of Kevin Networking event torched what was left.

Strangely enough on Tuesday, as I struggled to get through, those around me were somehow drawn in and I enjoyed a very interesting response. My ‘close-talking’ networking time (thank you Jerry Seinfeld) felt more effective than usual.

And in the office, once I was forced to stop the gums from flapping, STUFF GOT DONE MORE QUICKLY AND EFFECTIVELY!

Were YOU operating at full steam this week? Were all of YOUR cylinders firing?

If not, were some of your backup skills able to step up front and center, keeping the party going until the others regained strength?

While this article will not become a podcast for at least a few more days (the honey and lemon express rolls on), I am happy to have written it, and even happier for the reason why.

Just because we’re down, doesn’t mean we’re out. We’ve all been given gifts, not to let them coast by, but to take hold of each one and give it time in the spotlight when the time is right.

When the voice is parked in a special place (for a non blab-a-thon), shut down for repair, it feels pretty good to let the fingers do the talkin’!

Have a great week, my friends!

Million-Dollar Mega-Peers!

Million-Dollar Mega-Peers!

In numerous historical civilizations, as well as a few current ones, the caste system was enacted to keep the  wretched away from the learned, the refuse away from the royalty, the trash away from the treasure.

At the recent Winter Conference of the National Speakers Association, it was quickly apparent that NSA has its own social structure: the ‘All-Star-Cast’ system.

While royalty most certainly exists (one of the first hands I shook belonged to the legendary Brian Tracy), it does not tread barefoot across pillows and cushions being fed grapes. Every table to which I was invited was populated by Certified Speaking Professionals, relative newcomers like myself who are just beginning to make some noise, as well as the Hall of Fame CPAE’s.

I must admit some of my biggest smiles came at the end of long conversations with table-mates when I realized that CSPs and CPAEs were asking ME about my topics, how I got into speaking, my background, etc.

In his exclusive breakout session, thought leader Brendon Burchard addressed us all as peers in his opening moments. While some of us may be taller or get more cheers from the stands, we are all playing on the same field…and I think that attitude rocks!

As I scribbled nugget after nugget into my notebook, I glanced around the room. Speakers, coaches and consultants of all levels were learning from this man. Heck, Brian Tracy (sitting two tables away from me) was taking notes and nodding his head, learning with the rest of us…and he’s a mega-millionaire!

Where are you in your field? Are you among the elite who garner standing ovations from the fans? Do you feel like you somehow snuck onto the field and haven’t really earned your spot on the team yet? Or are you somewhere in between, with a small but loyal following, slowly racking up stats toward a successful career?

No matter where you’re at, please know this: You can always be learning more from your peers… all-stars and rookies alike.

Get in the game, play with your whole heart, hustle hustle hustle…and be the best teammate and peer you can be.

Good luck, my future all-star friends…GAME ON!

Bowled Over, In a Super Stupor!

With all the disclaimers in broadcasting these days, I feel like I have to open up this article by saying: “I’d like to talk about the (name of sport) team from (upper northeast United States) who played against the (name of team) of (state slightly west of the upper northeast United States) who played (name of sport) in the (trademarked and legally-protected name of that sport’s most important game).

Bottom line, part of my mind is still reeling from the failure of my New England Patriots to defeat Eli Manning and his New York Giants…again.

Almost immediately after the starter’s pistol went off signaling the Patriots first offensive possession, they used to it shoot themselves in the foot. It took only 8 seconds, in one play, for the Pats to be in the hole by two points.

Ouch.

If that was the only gaffe, I could shrug it off more easily. Despite stellar offensive numbers for the year, my hometown team managed to drop several key passes, committed numerous defensive dive-bomb attacks (virtually bouncing off the people they were supposed to wrap and tackle) and missed opportunities to keep play-drives alive.

In the end, while both teams did play hard, it was clear to see that one team wanted it more. They managed to pull magic rabbits out of a hat, and a few miracles out of their butts…to win.

If the Patriots managed to make a dozen stellar plays, the Giants ordered the baker’s dozen, garnishing just one more, to seal the deal for the Lombardi trophy.

How is YOUR game going?

Are you in it to win it? Are you making catches, passes or kicks that make the fans stomp their feet and cheer whenever you take the field? Does your play make your entire organization look great?

Or are you failing to learn the playbook, or not play with heart, failing to create value for your team? Are you the goat who’s blown the big game in your (name of organized activity)?

Please get in the game and play to the best of your ability. Learn from your mistakes, stay in good playing shape and give your team the support it deserves.

Most of all: be a good sport.

Score as often as you can, raise the bar for all (and please don’t trip over it) and gives the fans in the stands the sporting spectacle of a lifetime!

Game on!

Bangin’ the Boards With Gratitude…SCORE!!

This morning’s To-Do list started me off on the right foot. After taking a couple of MUCH-needed days away in Vermont, I arrived home just in time to get ready for last night’s Vision Board event.

Here is one of mine, for those who may be unfamiliar:

The evening was fun and eye-opening (my attendees were members of the Manchester Boys & Girls Club’s Keystone program). These teens R-O-C-K!! I learned so much from them, about their goals and backgrounds. For all the badness the media trumpets about teenagers these days, THIS group is on a powerful, positive path. I am so appreciative that they trusted me enough to share their goals, hopes and dreams (and WOW, do they have some cool goals!!).

   In this morning’s mail is a hand-written thank-you card to their director. 

Earlier this week, I enjoyed an amazing phone call with someone whom I have never met. While I cannot reveal details just yet, I can say that my most recent book is being considered for promotion as a Book Club selection for a MAJOR international organization!

   Moments ago, I sent a message to the friend who originally introduced me.

So, what good things have happened to you lately?

Very few of our life’s successes are 100% home-grown, meaning that someone has a helping hand in our progress. In the game of hockey, it’s often a great pass (or a slight deflection) which sets up a score. In the game’s statistics, these people are often credited with an assist.

   Who is on YOUR team? Who is assisting YOU in your game?

Are you giving these people credit, or thanking them in some way, acknowledging them with a high-five, a wink of an eye or a pat on the back?

Is there someone whom you can thank today with a phone call, or a hand-written message, or a gift?

Sometimes that is all it takes to keep someone out there bangin’ the boards on your behalf, helping you make your next big score!

2012 is all about scoring as many of our goals as possible, and the game has just begun.

   Who is on YOUR assist list?