227…Good for an IQ, Bad on the Scale at the Gym!

Yup, today’s trip to the gym scale revealed a personal high…and a personal low, all at the same time.

The high was my weight, and the low was breaking an elliptical. I can’t claim full responsibility. It had been wobbling on a broken leg for a while, I just took it out behind the barn and shot it.

I knew I hadn’t been visiting the gym much all Summer. I guess I justified it by saying “Hey, it’s Summer and I can get out and do stuff while the weather’s good”.

The weather was really good, and I did enjoy it…I just ignored the part about getting out and doing stuff.

I probably should have written that one down, huh?

Eight years ago this past week, I visited the doctor’s office and saw a number like this one.

Coupled with my cholesterol high-score (they should at least give you a t-shirt, it took YEARS of neglect to reach that milestone), the doctor told me, flat-out, that given my family’s heart history I would eventually drop dead of a stroke. He didn’t even give me the benefit of a ‘warning’ stroke. Can’t blame him, I did order him give it to me straight.

For the next three months, I made better choices. I got off my ass and moved around (a lot) until there was less ass to move around. Just 3 months later (the week before Christmas) my doctor and I high-fived when we saw the numbers. Weight lost: 19 pounds. Bad cholesterol: down 41 points.

To those who know me best: “No, I did NOT go celebrate with a calzone!!”

Although I kept the weight off for a while, I got lazy and allowed it to creep back.

Now it’s time to do it again.

I don’t like the way I feel lately, and the vertically-striped shirts aren’t quite pulling it off like they had been. I’m tired, slow and unable to run circles around anything but the microwave.

It’s time to strip away the excuses of “I have too much to do” or “I’m too busy”.

We ALWAYS a few minutes to get off our butts and move.

So, it’s back to one day at a time, one choice at a time, one meal at a time and one snack at a time.

I know more than a dozen people who are part of various network marketing organizations who specialize in health, weight loss, etc. I respect what you do, and I know what’s going to happen.

At least one of you is going to reach out and say: “My product is exactly what you need!” to which I will reply “They ALL say that”, to which YOU will reply “Yes, but OURS is the real deal!” to which I will once again reply “Nope, sorry.”

I don’t care if your revolutionary product is sourced from a berry which dropped out of a goat’s butt on the side of a mountain in Nepal during the rainy season…I am going to say no.

As my dear friend (fellow speaker and stand-up comic) Amy Tee once said after losing well over 100 pounds: “I just put down the cookies and took a walk!”

I know what it’s going to take for me to lose this weight again.

I did it before, and actually enjoyed it a great deal.

Bottom line: I just got lazy and abandoned my healthy habits.

After tapping the knowledge of my gym’s fitness trainer and nutritionist, I made better choices and began to swipe my membership card at the gym so often that their computer finally had to believe I wasn’t dead.

Now it’s time to do it again.

If you’ve got a few extra pounds hanging low, and you want to get rid of them, you can.

You just have to WANT to, do a little research, and then take ACTION.

There are no ‘real’ quick fixes.

Sucking out the fat doesn’t keep you from putting it back.

Wearing ‘slimming’ bodysuits means the world doesn’t get to see the ‘real’ you…and you might put someone’s eye out when you’re getting your freak on.

Crash diets aren’t healthy, or likely permanent.

Diet and exercise are the two fallbacks which have worked for me.

I also recommend seeing your doctor first to make sure you’re not going to hurt yourself or drop dead in your first trip to the gym.

Some speakers will advocate turning your entire life upside down all at once, taking massive action.

To be honest, I wouldn’t do it…and you probably won’t either.

I’m not saying that to insult you, but I bet your life is already pretty busy.

You’ve got to work, take care of your family, relax, spend time with friends…how the hell can you chuck all that to become a gym rat?

Feeling better, in my opinion (remember, I am NOT a qualified medical professional) does not mean you have to become a slave to it and deny yourself all the good stuff.

You’ll never catch me in the tofu or bean sprout aisles, believe me.

Just be smart about what you eat, how much of it you shove down your throat, and how long you spend sitting on your butt.

Next time you’re watching TV, if you notice that the fabric pattern of the couch in imprinted on your backside, you’ve been there too long.

Get up and walk to the mailbox.

Get up and change the channel.

Get up and change your mind.

We can all make better choices, and I need to start making them again.

If you do too, that’s great.

We’ll high-five each other at the gym, in the healthy aisle at the grocery store and we’ll tap out tummies and hold up fingers to show how much we’ve lost.

All we have to do to win…is get started.

And keep moving.

And keep caring.

And keep living.


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